Nosediving solo with kids
17th April 2020. Not a date I will ever forget in a hurry. This was day 1 of COVID-19 for me.
Rewinding back in my story slightly - as a single Mum working as a Therapy Technician (Physio Assistant) in an acute hospital trust, COVID-19 was a really scary possibility for me. Something I was really worried about acquiring, and bringing home to my two daughters. The thought of being ill, cut off from friends and family due to isolation, and not know which path your COVID-19 journey would take you down, on my own with two kids, made me really anxious. I am normally over eager to hand wash anyway, but with COVID-19 patients in the hospital took extra precautions such as showering at work prior to going home.
I had a booked a day off on Friday 17th April and woke up feeling tired and not quite right. By the afternoon I couldn’t keep my eyes open and fell asleep on the sofa and woke later with a temperature. I had discussed COVID-19 with my children and what we would do if any of us did come down with it. Living in an area with no family locally I had to be prepared in the event it did happen so during my food shops over the preceding weeks would buy the odd few extra items to pop into an ‘emergency box’ (no shop hoarding honestly!). I know it sounds maybe a bit bonkers but this was something I was highly anxious about. So when I did become ill, the emergency box came out and I felt a slight bit of relief knowing I was prepared. I’d even thought of infection prevention and had a roll of bin bags and disposable plates and cutlery so that in the event no washing up of ‘biohazards' would have to be handled by the kids! Prepared yes, bonkers more than likely!
I was in bed and with a temperature and trying to think positive about all the same old flu and colds still around as per normal and how I must just have that. For a few days I didn’t feel too bad. Temperature and lack of appetite and a bizarre pain in my right flank. Just a twinge like a pulled muscle, which also would wake me in the night if I rolled onto it.
On the Monday morning (Day 4) I called into work and discussed with my Manager about how I was feeling. Occupational Health were informed and I was advised I would be called to have a COVID-19 test. I told her I didn’t think it would be COVID-19 as I wasn’t coughing and didn’t feel too bad ‘just a bit of a temperature'. Monday night my temp shot up much higher and the pain in my side was awful. The flank twinge had now turned into a weird burning sensation and also felt like a sword was being inserted in the front and was coming out of my back. I called 111 who asked about my symptoms, but as I had no cough they advised I may have pancreatitis. They suggested I try to self manage this at home because due to my temperature, I would be have to sit in the COVID-19 quarantine area in A&E and risk catching COVID-19 as well. Laughable in hindsight now really! Obviously they did advise me if I did feel any worse to call 111 again or 999. Later that evening the diarrhoea started. I remember sitting on the loo thinking this is why all the toilet rolls flew off the shelves in the shops then! It was the weirdest stools I’d ever passed and was black and watery and hot. I ended up losing a stone in 7-10 days which did seem a positive in a dire situation. The next day - day 5 - My GP agreed and thought I had pancreatitis and prescribed Omeprazole. Later that day I was asked to come down for a Covid swab at my place of work via a drive through pod.
Day 6 - I wasn’t too bad during the day. Temperature but not too high, and tiredness. 7.30pm that night I got the call from Occupational Health. You have tested positive. I just went quiet and couldn’t really take it in. No, it was pancreatitis wasn’t it? I was really shocked. I also felt all the worse being told this at night, when I needed to process it, on my own. I hadn’t been too bad though had I. I was one of the lucky ones. It was so weird having a virus no one knew much about. I’d seen videos of people in China falling down in the street and twitching on stretchers in hospitals. Not sure if it was psychosomatic but I felt much worse later that night. COVID-19 was weird. The symptoms would come in waves. You’d wake up thinking ooh I feel better today, then a wave of it would come again. I remember speaking to my GP on the phone and was advised be careful on day 10, that’s the day people seem to go downhill. I remember feeling anxious on day 10 and thinking is this the day I go downhill. I had a high temperature for 16 days in total and other bizarre symptoms such as racing heart, chest pain, then that same heat sensation I’d had in my flank was now in the uterus/ womb area which was followed by a black hot discharge. I wasn’t too chesty but just had a slight crackle on the last part of exhalation and felt puffed out trying to do anything like shower and walk up the stairs. I also felt faint at times and like i was on a boat on a wavey sea if I laid down. There were a couple of days I really felt I was on my way out. I have never felt so vulnerable and also so worried about the kids. They would find me. Who would look after them?
One week after I had shown symptoms and was isolating, my 16 year old daughter then started coughing and had a temperature. The night before I showed symptoms we had both been sharing popcorn whilst watching a film. My other daughter doesn’t like popcorn so she didn’t have any. Knowing how rough I had felt this was a real worry. She then isolated in her bedroom next to mine. My other daughter then turned our lounge downstairs into her bedroom with the use of the downstairs toilet to try and prevent her also acquiring it. Later in the night my daughter started calling out to me. At 1am she had woken with a horrible nosebleed and she just looked like a zombie with red eyes. I’ve never seen her look so rough and that vision haunts me still today when I feel anxious (I am suffering with anxiety since all of this). The nosebleed did eventually stop but it did scare me at the time. Georgina seemed to have more of a cough than me and I would make sure she slept propped up more on pillows, drink plenty and had a timer on my phone for regular paracetamols. Georgina also had a temperature for 16 days, headaches, felt faint and wobbly and at one point vomitted.
Phew we were both over the worst and all mixing in the house again. Before mixing, and allowing my younger daughter to come back upstairs we, very slowly (due to fatigue!) cleaned and wiped upstairs to try and prevent Evie getting COVID-19 from surfaces. One week later she came down with it too. This put my anxiety into overdrive as I thought with my infection prevention knowledge we’d got away with her not getting it. This was 3 weeks after me?! Luckily she did not seem to have it as badly as we did, but did suffer from a temperature, headaches, tummy ache, diarrhoea and fatigue.
Four weeks after COVID-19, I had an ECG due to chest pain and feeling puffed out. The ECG test came back fine although I did have Costochondritis. I was still suffering from fatigue and upset tummies and the weird pain in my right flank.
I returned to work after 7 weeks off sick. I still did not feel 100% ready to return but it’s hard to tell when all you are doing is sitting around at home, or having the odd little walk trying to build yourself up. I was back on a 3 week phased return working half days and seemed to be able to manage this, albeit sleeping when I got home.
At 8 months post acute COVID-19, myself and my two girls were all suffering from Long COVID. I thought youngsters weren’t supposed to be too affected by COVID-19 let alone Long COVID? We all seem to nosedive at different times and support each other muddling along together when we do. Being back to work full time I could feel myself going downhill again, but not only physically this time but mentally too. I was fed up with how my life currently was and how little I was able to do. I was too tired to speak to friends on the phone. I had been through a traumatic time but could not even see my family who were 3 hours away in the car. I just needed a hug from Mum and some serious TLC. I would literally go to work and then sleep at home, every night and all weekend. I felt guilty for being a crap Mum. The girls were having to help at home a lot - housework and cooking. My eldest would even bring my ironed uniform into the bedroom while I slept ready for the morning. I was crying a lot at home fed up with the fatigue and feeling anxious a lot. Still having issues caused by COVID-19 made me have flashbacks of me being ill if I woke in the night feeling hot or my throat hurt. These were regular issues I had after COVID-19, along with swelling of glands, fatigue, upset tummies, burning sensations and pain in my right side. They also seemed to return as my fatigue kicked in.
I proceeded to have blood tests, an abdominal ultrasound and a chest X-RAY which both were all clear. I still get this pain today and still have no idea what it is. I am currently off on 8 weeks sick leave to give myself a good chance to recover. This was instigated by our Occupational Health at work which I am really grateful for. I am due back to work in 3 weeks and due to ongoing issues have had a 2nd ECG and am having 24 hr heart monitoring next week. Will I make it back to work in 3 weeks? I am worried about my future health, employment prospects and whether I will be able to continue to work full time - in the short term or the long. As a single Mum what if I can’t work full time, how will I pay my bills or give up a job I love and have worked hard to get. Aside from work, what about my life outside of work? Will I ever be able to take part in another high altitude mountain trek again, or even 5k runs I used to do 3 mornings a week. I know its a cheesy cliche but as a ‘work hard play hard’ type of person I would work 5 days and swim 5 nights per week and be out and about all weekend - will I ever see the old me return? I don’t know but I hope I do, and not in the too distant a future as well.
